I often get in conversations about gender with the women that I meet online. I know that gay dating or transsexual dating can be a very new experience, and I expect a lot of questions. Heck, even crossdressing is still an odd concept to some people. A lot of them are in some way confused, dismayed, even angry about the way that I identify. I am a woman looking to meet other women. Despite identifying as female, and having a female body to match, some woken object to how real or truthful my gender is, as though there were still some lingering maleness about me that no surgery or gender identity could possibly shake.
The thing is, if I lied about the fact that I was ever male, and just said that i was a woman looking to meet other women, no one would bat an eyelash. No one can easily tell that I have had surgeries and hormone treatments. I could always reveal myself later, after being with someone for years — or never. But I don’t feel like my gender is something to be ashamed of, and so I am honest. It is frustrating sometimes, however, that this honesty isn’t always rewarded.
I am meeting some people, though, who are understanding and open-minded enough to at least give a few dates with me a try. They are always curious, of course, but more gently so. They don’t always understand, but instead of seeing that as something frightening, they are willing to learn. Which is really all that I am ever hoping for.